GSTPA Tour Rocked by Reported Alien Abduction
Former GSTPA Champion Paul Gauer claims he was abducted by extraterrestrials while practicing alone for the upcoming Shitish Open at Timberline Golf Club late Tuesday evening.
The reported encounter has sent shockwaves throughout the GSTPA Tour, with players and family members expressing growing fears regarding extraterrestrial contact, and forcing tour administrators to confront a situation few believe they are equipped to manage.
Players are advised to avoid isolated practice sessions during periods of increased extraterrestrial activity. Existing abduction coverage may not extend to driving ranges, practice greens, or unsecured parking areas. Claims involving probing-related trauma remain under review.
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On This Day In History
May 1987—GSTPA tournament officials approved the use of mood-stabilizing slacks.